I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
tequila makes me forget i have legs
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
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