I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
