turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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