I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
