I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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