Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
