I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
