do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
