HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
