No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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