After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
