im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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