About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
