wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
