oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
sex in a hospital.. check
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
