The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
