I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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