i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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