I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
