Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
