She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
