It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am naked and annoyed.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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