just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
