some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
