see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Someone shit on the floor
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
