Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Rumble strips road head = magical
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
