Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize