I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
