Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize