My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
