Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
