were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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