we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
id be glad to
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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