okay pat passed out under dana's car
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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