Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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