i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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