I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
