Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
