so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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