pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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