My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
