I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
