Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
