my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
