we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think my mom watched the whole time
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
