garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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