the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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