Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry racingirl380 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(540): View more from Virginia

you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

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(520): View more from Arizona

chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended

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(210): View more from Texas

I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job

(917): View more from New York City

You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.

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(251): View more from Alabama

And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What did he say?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.

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