if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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