Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
