no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
