No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i've created a new STD.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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