Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
