you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
