have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
