Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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