Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
