when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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